Mystical Drama: an Unrequested Review

Mon, October 22, 2007
Filed under: Coding, Humor, Internet, Reviewing


[EDIT January 26th 2008]
Do I even need to say it? You get what you want. ;) Oh yeah, she’s moved to Kawaiipurinsesu, in the meantime.
[/EDIT]

For those of you who’ve been regular visitors, you would know that I never start e-drama. I admit to feeding e-drama, and egging the participants on, but I never start e-drama. Why? Free link to the “victim”. However I decided to make an exception this time. After all, if Barbi kept accusing me of starting drama I might as well do it.

Piqued your interest? Then read on for an unrequested review of Mystical Drama (that’s the site’s name, by the way).

First of all, the screen shots (click on the images for the full version):
Firefox large Firefox small
Internet Explorer large

Now on to the the actual review.

First Impression:
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Slow loading time, despite the fact that I use high speed broadband. After an entire minute or so, I see a neon colored header. While I’m personally not a huge fan of these colors, the over all composition is quite good actually. There is a flash effect, though rather oddly placed. Switching over to Internet Explorer, it appears that the white circles (mimicking the resonance effect) are actually placed inside the large pink circle.

So basically, all this trouble, and it won’t even look as it’s supposed to. Not to mention that users with smaller resolution (beware those with 800×600px screen resolution) are going to get an eye-full of neon colored circles. At least it’s not side-scrolling.

I’m not really interested in these flash effects so I more or less ignored it. The music however, I found it rather hard to. First of all, I was listening to something completely different, and here you come and force a “You gotta shake your ass” on me. Not only was it annoying, but due to your sidebar’s less than ideal organization I had to hunt around another minute till I found the stop button… and then I had to rush over and stop it every time I changed the page.

Layout:
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I wondered why you had got so angry at my initial comment, since I actually complimented your layout first hand. Now I know: the layout was not made by you. Not only that, but you’ve successfully managed to destroy it as well. Now it won’t work properly in ANY browser. Since, right now Firefox seems to be the one displaying it best, I’ll continue my browsing using that.

Your sidebar is of course long and mostly filled with things not strictly related to your site. It starts with Advertisement, followed by Ad’s (which should be spelled Ads)… Ads is the shortened form of Advertisements, which is the plural for Advertisement. So you basically have two different sections with the same name.

Oh well, next come your latest updates. They are well placed, considering that you seem to have mostly returning visitors. Unfortunately the Javascript is scrolling them much too fast making it impossible to actually read what you wrote there. Aside this, you list too many of your updates there. Considering that you also list most updates in your blog posts, you could safely remove more than half of these updates. Just state the most important and most recent ones. If people want to know more, they can browse your blog archives.

Next comes a paragraph of statistics. Out of these your name, the site’s name and your host name are important. The latter more for you, who link her out of courtesy. The rest can very well be put inside the domain/site section. Incidentally, the text here is so small that I completely overlooked it. The only reason I knew your site’s name is because you mention it in one of your blog posts (which uses a much larger font size).

The dreadful music player, followed by “Affys” (affiliates for those in doubt), then Exchange’s (which should be spelled Exchanges) a Vote 4 Me button, a Link Me button with a link text saying PICKEY … I’m assuming that should probably be “picky”: a diminutive form for the verb to pick. All this deduced by the fact that it links to your link buttons’ page.

Oh and wonder of wonders: your main navigation. Pushed down below, because obviously linking to other sites is much more important than keeping visitors on your own. The next category consists of link to sister sites – yet another batch of links elsewhere – a tagboard, a virtually impossible to decipher TO DO LIST, and finally the credits. This one is also sporting a rather large broken image.

Moving over to the content area, I come across another two broken images (second post from the top titled “new stuff all the way”). Aside this, it seems that each of your posts is written in a different color. Last webmaster who I’ve seen do this was 10 years old… and even that was a good few years back.

Content:
———————————–
Your blog generally consists of site updates, unless you’re screaming at some hater for daring to point out your spelling mistakes.

Before going on to take the sections one by one, I’d like to mention part of the Credits, which states that Mystical Drama represents a TradeMark.

According to Wikipedia:

A trademark or trade mark is a distinctive sign or indicator of some kind which is used by an individual, business organization or other legal entity to uniquely identify the source of its products and/or services to consumers, and to distinguish its products or services from those of other entities.
Trademark – Wikipedia

Please keep in mind the bolded text: uniquely identify and distinguish from others. Meaning that nowhere else can the same products be found.

=Generators=
These consist of forms, where pressing a button a set text appears. With the exception of the image of the Winged Heart nothing was actually made by you, as revealed by a quick glance at the code. And I’m not 100% sure the button either, it might just be missing proper credits.

You use a flash object script from Deconcept, the MySpace Graphics come from EgoBox and the actual comment script from GlitterBell.

The last four generators are provided by Zaiaku (the link is broken on her site as well), though the credit seems to be missing from the “Make your own MS layout”; the kitschy background is telling though.

The main navigation here mysteriously changes from vertical to horizontal, and the link to Generators is named Vistors (most probably a misspelling of Visitors). This obviously means that you are not using PHP includes, and actually include the sidebar, header and footer manually into all files. While this is technically not incorrect in itself, it is definitely prone to lots of errors. Not to mention that layout changes must be a pain to perform.

=Goodies=
Yet another batch of MySpace related graphics.

You have one about me box, with no credit, so I’m assuming you created it in Photoshop. It actually looks decent, but it’s not a particularly great work of art. What interests me most is the coding.

First of all: textareas are not meant to be used as coding containers. There is a tag named code which does has been defined by the W3C (the creators of HTML and CSS) for this exact purpose. You can customize it using CSS to look in accordance to your wishes. Second, the textarea is so small that absolutely NO ONE will be able to read anything from within it.

Nevertheless, let’s see what it actually “says”: you put a table inside a div element simply to center it… After which you proceed to put random rows and cells, and other divs… and you hope that something will come of it.
1)It’s syntactically incorrect
2)I highly doubt you have any idea what you’re doing there.
3)It’s incredibly messy coding – so no wonder it is incorrect

Still, let it not be said that I’m bashing you without reason.
1)You declare a div with centered text. The reason for this is so that you can center the table. There is a much easier way to do this. Set the text alignment of the body tag to center (<body style=”text-align: center;”>), and specify margin:0 auto for the table (<table style=”margin: 0 auto;” … >). Of course, all this comes on top of your already specified style attributes.

2) You declare a table with three rows (3 pairs of tr tags).
The first one has one cell, the second 2, and the third one with a colspan of 3. From this coding it is quite clear that you don’t know what colspan does.
Colspan specifies the amount of cell space a given cell should take up. This is in order to have a fully rectangular table. Your coding generates something like the image below:
Erroneous Table

I’m assuming you were aiming for something like:
Correct Table

(note: proportions are probably not accurate in the two pictures above)

This basically means, that the top most cell and the bottom most cell should have occupy the whole space above respective below the two cells from the row in the middle. In other words, these two cells should each span over 2 columns: colspan=”2″ (not 3).

3) There is no reason to declare divs inside table cells. Use padding and margin to make your text fit exactly where it is needed. Technically it is not incorrect, but very bad practice. Also, you are giving this code to complete beginners: how exactly are they supposed to understand it if you don’t even make the effort to simplify it as much as possible?

Your layouts are either dead set on blinding your visitor (by forcing him/her to decipher neon green text over light blue) or rather keen on causing them a seizure (by overload of heart shapes). Aside this, you have an impressive amount of dead links (LAYOUT NAME HERE), plus some button codes… that obviously don’t work in Firefox. The buttons displayed look exactly the same as the default ones. I’d fix your coding, but it’s almost 1 a.m., I’m tired, not to mention being mean. I’m causing e-drama after all. All this was just for the regular layouts, which is enough to convince me that I don’t need to see the other two layput categories.
Your online icons are cute… but then again, they are not exactly yours. But reading your terms of use at the top, I’m doubt you actually understand your own English… or you’re a hypocrite. Take your pick.

First of all you state:

these are not made by me i found them all on photobucket and would like to share them with you…

and after that in blinding neon pink:

**MUST COMMENT IF USING** All are made by me i worked real hard on them

So which is it? Are they or aren’t they all made by you? And if they aren’t, why should people link back to you? What’s your merit in the creation of these icons? Anyone can do a simple search on Photobucket. How will you prove that they haven’t found them on their own?

The MySpace Special Characters page is a broken link and the Comment Box’s (that should have been spelled as Comment Boxes) is under construction.

On seeing the layout for your basic HTML codes, I literally started laughing hysterically: it doesn’t work in ANY browser. See screenshots below (click for full version):
Firefox screen Internet Explorer screen

Ironic really: you want to teach others HTML but can’t even code the tutorial page properly.

Moving on to the actual tutorial… which I very optimistically assume that your visitors will manage to read, despite the fact it can’t be seen well on ANY browser. First of all you don’t explain what exactly you are providing a tutorial for. Sure you might argue that tag names are rather self explanatory. True, to those who’re familiar with HTML, but then those people are not the ones who will use these tutorials.

Aside this, the font tag is deprecated, along with the b, u and s tags. Instead of font use the CSS font attribute to specify the font (size, family, etc), instead of u (underline tag) use CSS (text-decoration: underline); b should be replaced by strong and s by del.

Moving on to your Advanced MySpace HTML Codes… which are actually CSS snippets. Ladies and gentlemen, a revolutionary discovery has been made: every single line of code is basically just … HTML. Incidentally, it would’ve been easier to just tell people to create a CSS class called hide and one called show.
See definition below:
.hide{ display: none;}
respectively,
.show{display:inline;}

And whenever you wanted to hide an HTML element:
<tagname class=”hide”> text to hide </tagname>

By the way, it is preferred to use visibility: hidden for table cells (td), instead of display: none. The former definition hides the content of the table cell, but not the actual space occupied. This is important to maintain a table cells’ proper alignment.

The contact buttons are just plain image links… with a mile-long coding, which is probably yet again incorrect and unnecessarily bloated. The custom page layouts are… celebrity pictures with seizure inducing striped backgrounds, and a rather clashing neon blue line in the middle where your site name shows up. How THOSE can be made into layouts? Then again, I’m not a particularly creative person so I could very well be wrong.

The Pic captions consist of images with rude text on them (with the exception of the Happy Halloween one). Your wallpaper is bad quality (I can see lots of jagged edges around the cat’s head). The pixels yet again require you being credited despite not having actually made them. The icons are typical emo-teenager ones. The glitters are probably from EgoBox, or the original graphics are from EG at any rate.

There are some mediocre PaintShopPro brushes which require a ridiculous amount of reasons. Aethereality’s brushes far succeed yours, yet they require much less hassle (i.e. a simple link back). And your Photoshop downloads is a broken link.

=Domain=
You seem to be able to spell Requests inside the page, so I’m going to assume that you also possess the amazing ability to fix the link text on the domain page. Now the actual content of this page is another matter: I had to read it three times to get an inkling of what you’re trying to say.

The contact form is the exact same on both this page and the next one (Affys). Interesting new spelling: the whole world spells it either as Affiliates of Affies, but you somehow manage to insert a y in there.

I loved the Haters/Jockers page; I swear I really did. It amused me to no end. However, I’m not entirely sure why you’re having this page since you obviously don’t let haters do their job: that of hating. You keep banning them and screaming obscenities at them… as well as threatening them with your host. I half expected you to announce that you’d be telling on me to my parents.

The page link that says Affiliates&Links is your Link Me buttons’ page, so it would be a good idea to change the text of the link. Unless of course you want to keep inducing your visitors in error.
Then you have a plug board that no one uses: small wonder given its location. The link titled Feedback and the one titled Ask Me go to the same questions asked page.
Feedback from the visitors means that they tell you their opinions. They don’t ask you questions.

You credit everything you use, for which I sincerely commend you. Most people with similar sites don’t, then again they’re generally about half your age. Interesting though that you claim you use both Photoshop and PaintShopPro for everything you make. So basically all your Photoshop artwork was actually made in PaintShopPro, which was obviously made in Photoshop, that was made in … Right: got it.

Kay recoded the layout? You should be cursing her not thanking her. She destroyed a perfectly good layout… oh wait, she’s your host. Yeah, you have to be nice to her: understandable. Kay is indeed a very nice person, I agree.

And the highlight, you actually manage to misspell Notepad as “not pad”. Now THAT requires talent!

=Girl=
The same old generic list, with millimetrical text. The only interesting thing I found was your age: 24. Really? And you assume I’m 10-years-old? Considering I don’t try to ban, or otherwise insult you? Ah well, I suppose paranoia comes with age.

And with that, I conclude the content of your site. Nowhere have I seen you point out that you can’t spell. The post I commented on was the one title “HARSSMENT” from October 21st. Keeping in mind that you have 3 posts per page, I would have had to check your archives, and scroll way down, past those insane amount of blinking icons…

Wake up honey: I only scour the archives if your blog is interesting. However unless you suddenly turned into Violent Acres overnight, there’s no chance I’d voluntarily submit myself to such a torture. Though that begs the question of why the HELL I reviewed you. For the record, I’m pleading temporary insanity :P

Coding:
———————————–
HTML – no doctype, two title tags, a mile-long Javascript (at least save it in an external .js file so it will save your site loading time), you use an external stylesheet but still litter your HTML tags with style attributes.

CSS – the external CSS file informs me about the existence of the following tags: bold, underline and italic (spelled exactly like that). If you’re wondering I’m being sarcastic: there are no such tags.

Conclusion:
———————————–
Remember how I asked you to keep in mind the definition for Trademark? We’re looking for distinctive signs on her work, as well as unique identifiers.

A distinctive sign: regular amount of original content for this type of site. In other words: none whatsoever.

Unique identifiers for her work: unique copy and pasting abilities perhaps. There’s absolutely nothing that belongs to you in here. Everything has been taken from someone else’s site.

After painstakingly (I’m getting a crick in my neck) going through your site, I’ve come to the realization that bad spelling and grammar, coupled with lack of punctuation are the least of your problems. You just plain don’t understand basic English. That’s the only plausible reason I can find for the ineptitudes that fill your pages.

Yes, I was rude. Did she deserve it? Well it all started with me making the following comment:

Nice header image, but your spelling is atrocious.
By the way, there are online proxies that can easily bypass IP banning. Ignoring someone who’s “harassing” you is more effective.

This had Ms Barbi so hysterical, that she felt the need to ban me from posting, as well as demand that I leave her site, which I apparently kept accessing illegally by means of proxies (see comments on my previous post).
I apologize for any spelling/grammar mistake I have overlooked. Feel free point them out.

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