But Where’s The Link Gone?!!!11!!one!!!!
Sat, February 16, 2008
Filed under: Internet, Rants, WTF
We’ve all seen those rules on various graphic sites. Some have them in sensitive places, such as download pages. Some tell us to read the rules before using the graphics. Some others, have an intermediary page, between these graphics section and the rest of the site.
Elisha of All of the Above XXX 1, surpasses them all. Not only does she put it after the splash page, but also cleverly hides the continuation link. She must have done some amazing artwork to make us go through all this.
I was just doing some mindless link hopping, when the following text caught my attention:
What’s wrong, can’t find the right link? If you’re too lazy to read the rules, move your mouse over everything.
Um… right link for what exactly? Bewildered, I hit the back button, only to end up on the splash page. The enter image apparently linked to the rules page. That still didn’t explain what link I was supposed to find. Oh well, apparently reading the rules was the key.
1; ♥ Don’t you dare steal or redistribute my work in any way, shape, or form. If I find that you are doing this, there will be punishment.
I’ve yet to see this work you keep hinting at (layout is made by someone else). But sure, whatever floats your boat.
2; ♥ No messing with the credit on my layouts, and no editing over my graphic credits. I am the one who made them, and I think it’s fair that my name gets to be on my graphics, no.
Oh… so you can make layouts? This totally explains why you’re using a layout made by someone else.
3; ♥ I know I may sound really mean sometimes, but I can be really nice if you allow me to. I’m quite easy to make happy. Tell me not to laugh when you say booger and I’ll lighten up :]
I wasn’t aware of having forbidden you to be nice. Unless of course me having stumbled upon your site annoys you. Ah well, that’s life.
4; ♥ Click the period after this sentence. If you want to be affiliates, then just comment on my cbox. I have site buttons you can use on the affiliates page. Affiliate spots are always open
Oh yay,! *clicks* WHA?
♥ ♥ For shame ♥ ♥
Tsk, tsk, tsk. You’ve just made me lose my trust in you :[ I don't remember telling you why to click the period. Wanna try again?
Yes No It's alright, though. Did you know that 00257 people have reached this page, too?
But you said to click... 
5; ♥ Sorry for all the rules. I hate typing this, and you prolly hate reading this. Just make sure you follow the rules and I won't be an angry you-know-what and chastise you. Chastise is the key to the door that opens and reveals the site.
Let's see: after 2 minutes I still have no bloody idea what I'm supposed to see, I'm insulted for following your directions and... you think I probably hate reading this? Whatever gave you that idea?!
Back to the link hunt: is the word chastise the link? Hm... better read the last rule too, lest I be insulted again.
6; ♥ If you have any questions or comments, good or bad, email me at xxx. Requests for graphics are now open. If you have a Quizilla, then please request on my shop, if not, please email me and I'll send you a form to fill out. No layout requests are open unless I know you personally, sorry.
All this layout talk is making me antsy. They must be some gorgeous pieces of art.
And the page ends with:
OH MY GOSH HOLY FREEKIN FINKLEMATTER - there's no link. Sucks for you if you can't read :]
I’m warning you: if I’m insulted yet again, I’m reporting you to… the Internet Police 
*takes deep breath and clicks* Aaaand… it looks the same. Oh but the layout Punk Rock Princess makes it all worth it. I’m truly amazed and humbled by your skills. 
[/sarcasm]
I wonder: why doesn’t Nick of N.Design Studio use such a rules page. He’s a pretty good designer too…
______________
1 Yes, that’s a triple X alright, why do you think I was so keen on it?! 
Urgh, the site pissed me off immediately. I gave up on the crappy link hunt and decided, use Ctrl + U. No need to go hunting, just copying and pasting links.
ZOMG Her design is so lovely *bucketloads of puke comes out* I clearly remember that I never, and I say never, had those layouts with super LARGE fonts and bevels at the same time. Gee, IP should post about this xP
Vera: I did …
but at least, I left the crappy rules for the end.
I hate sites like that, I end up just clicking off them.
Vera: normally I’d have clicked away too… had it not been for the fact that I’ve been insulted before even throwing a casual look at the site.
Well, that was a good puzzle :hmm:.
Poo! I did it wrong, sorry Vera. Long comment short. I found the link but didn’t bother looking further into the content. Also, bullet number 5 and 6 don’t even count as rules, do they? If the rules say click on something what can she expect?
T’was a good puzzle though :P.
Vera: we-ell… 5 could have meant something along the lines of “don’t make me angry” …
Whoa, I’ll really have to admire your patience.
I wouldn’t even have bothered going for a link hunt, especially not from a site that uses teensy, almost unreadable text.
Plus, there’s nothing particularly attractive there. Bahh.
Vera: I was procrastinating… had to do something else, so any distraction is welcome
Lol. I clicked the period too. That egg.
WTF? This is her site and the first thing she does is piss people off. It’s funny how those without real skills like to fiercely guard their lameness.
I was pissed off after 10 seconds, I viewed the source and found the “real” home link. It’s chastise, the “I won’t be an angry you-know-what and chastise you” one. Tsk tsk, she has to find another way to keep content safe from unworthy viewers.
Vera: yeah, I did eventually find it. Since I was already juggling some 10 tabs at the time, I didn’t think of opening yet another window for the code.
Cute
Vera: the dancing smiley? Yeah it is…
Paah. Her little tricks wouldn’t work for a person like me who sometimes browse with stylesheets disabled.
Vera: well yes, you’d see the links clearly, nevertheless you’d still have to pass through two intermediary pages.
I just read all of that and decided… it’s probably not worth the frustration.
Vera: I wasn’t frustrated. I just kept think: what the hell does this person want from me?
How annoying! She “protects” her graphics as if they were 1) amazing 2) hers.
I hate the way she threatens visitors with all those “don’t you dare, or else”.
Vera: there is this thing called interwebz, which gives us all super powers.
You know, I’ve never in my life encountered a website like that. How abominably strange and annoying. I can’t imagine why we’d be pestered to read the rules before having even seen any of her work.
This girl is making her visitors work for suckage. Makes sense.
It’s ironic how she makes the text so small that you’d have to have 300/20 vision to see it,and yet she expects you to read it and solve her puzzle.
For some reason, I’m sorely tempted to keep refreshing the page that the period leads to. The number on the counter actually changes each time.
Oh wow, that made me laugh. I love how only the first two are actual rules, and the rest is her rambling. Does she think she’s clever for doing that?
Vera: I think in her case it’s more of an “everyone is doing it so it must be cool” type of thing.
wow. I decided to play the ‘find the link’ game, because I’m supposed to be cleaning the kitchen, and needed a distraction myself…FFS my eyes are burning! And then, after finding the link, I clicked the layout you’ve linked..and now I think I am legally blind.
From extremely dark, to NEON…omg I want to rip my eyes out!
thanks for the humor…now off to scrub
Vera: heh… and you say I’m easily distracted
LOLOLOL.
This reminds me of when i used to own a dollsite (blech) and they all had hidden links to get to their graphics, too. It really annoyed me.
That’s just totally pointless.
Vera: or just paranoid
Oh, wow….that was….complicated
Vera: I think that was the point… just in case too many people visited or something. Can’t have that now, can we?
Oh, and about your comment on my last blog post - not 42 weeks, I meant a 42+ hour week
As of tomorrow I’ll be a working girl (or a thesis-writing-girl) with a 42+ hour week :)… or 
Vera: oh yeah, that makes sense. 42 weeks though would’ve been a lot.
Any sites with rule pages and hidden password info = an immediate window closing for me.
*shudder*
Vera: for me it’s a “quest” to prove that the graphics are shit… so no one in their right mind would steal them anyway.
More challenging puzzles please! This one didn’t have a particularly fun outcome
I might do this sort of thing for my website - it’ll be a completely original concept. I’ll create this maze, and at the end there will be David Bowie. Then I’ll rename my website to the Labyrinth and hey presto!
Yup, a completely original concept…
Vera:
Lol that is hilarious, I love the fact that she had so much rules that were random and weren’t rules at all. And the fact that she has a “real home page” and I guess a fake one..
Hum I am also guessing her graphics and her layout requests are separate? Since she says layouts aren’t open to the general public. I guess its for our protection.
P.S.
I am SO glad I usually copy my comments before I send, because I pressed “Start Over” by mistake. I enjoyed your post by the way, I laughed all the way to the shower.
Vera: thanks
I wonder if you saw this beautiful piece of art: I think Leonardo or Michelangelo must be roting of envy:
http://alloftheabovexxx.com/layoutdistantmemory.html
Vera: well… you know, as long as you’re not supposed to read anything there, and ignore the fact that it’s all blurry…
fuck, I don’t think I’ve ever been to a site that filled me with so much hatred as that one..
Wow, you’re truly amazing. How do you enter her site?
It’s like trying to create a maze at your site so no one can get in. It’s darn shit.
I got in now. Using my amazing view source skill. Why does she have to do this? I read her rules like 5 million trillion time and I can’t find a freaking sentence that say click ‘chartise’ for the homepage. Tuff, I’m leaving it.
Vera: that’s because she says “chastise is the key”
And wow, she must be an image thieve. That picture in http://alloftheabovexxx.com/layoutsnowwhitequeen.html … I saw that on Deviant Art just yesterday…hmm
This might have something to do with it all:
Let’s see, the web mistress of All of the Above XXX is named Elisha Hermit. She is approx. 13 years young, 5ft tall, dark skinned, Philippino, and very good at lying.
I love how she makes it a point to tell you not to steal her graphics, because she worked so hard on them wah wah wah, and yet all of her graphics contain copyrighted images and bad filters. LOL!
Vera: lying mainly to herself it seems… unless alienating most of her visitors is one of the website’s purposes
Hi Vera,
thanks for telling me about the FF thing, I am not sure what could be wrong because it works on my FF and my boyfriends. Do you mind sending me a screen shot?
YES. Those annoy me so much. You have to hunt around, there are a million hidden links, you have different rules telling you to click different things (those, ‘You didn’t read the rules, Idiot’ are insulting!), and you end up getting nowhere. If you’re going to distribute work, you should make it accessible. If you’re so protective of it, maybe you’re doing the wrong thing by making freebies available.
I was so entertained by your post that I had to take a look at the website for myself. And once I did, I couldn’t resist writing a review of it.
Is it really necessary for me to tell you that by the end of it, I was practically in pain? Part of me suspects she’s a little crazy. It would explain the sense of paranoia in her rules, the fake pages, the two splash pages, and the reason for why she wrote five entire paragraphs about herself in third person.
Vera: *perks up* review?
Where, where?Never mind, found it. Someone already commented on her tagboard about itThose were some funny and very confusing rules… aah well
Loved the entry 
also, love the internet police site.
I thought you’d appreciate knowing that she responded to my review. I’ll cut out all the boring stuff and just leave you with this instead:
I don’t know wtf the W3C Validator is, so I kinda don’t care about that part.
…
Oh, and sorry I use two slashes.
Well, not really but you know what I mean.
I don’t see why you assume that I think using two slashes is ‘cute.’
It’s a habit, and I don’t really feel like breaking it.
…
Uhm, yeah.
I’m proud of my site -still am- but now I’m kinda pissed.
No offense, but I honestly don’t care that you hate my site.
I giggled, just a little teeny bit.
Vera: *nods* Of course she doesn’t care.