If in doubt, call it Feminism
Mon, August 3, 2009
Filed under: Rants, WTF
Edit(as of August 19th): I finally fixed the PAI page. My laziness got all special on me, and decided not to let me fix stuff till it was pointed out. You can all thank your (or would that be mine?) anonymous benefactor. 
I rarely mind waiting, however long it might take; daydreaming and idle conversation spying overhearing’s always fun. That is not to say, that I ever resist the temptation to peruse the magazines provided1.
My last encounter with such a magazine (an issue of Cosmopolitan from 2004), left me quite disgusted though.
Q: I am friends with a rather clumsy colleague. Could this friendship reflect badly on me from a professional point of view?
A: Absolutely. You should try to minimize your interaction at work, so as not to be put in the same category as said colleague. Limit your socialization with him/her to after work hours. It’s not very nice, but it’s the only way to maintain your career.
I probably2 read way too much sappy chicklit novels, but WHAT THE HELL? This is the most disgusting thing I’ve heared in quite a while… outside aforementioned novels, biensure.
Now unless “dear ol’ Cosmo” has suddenly started employing high school bimbos3 to answer readers’ letters, I can’t imagine WHY anyone would EVER let such an answer go to print. Oh wait… don’t tell me. There’s a brand new theory which proves that clumsiness is catching?
Now I’d be hypocritical to claim that I never badmouth anyone, am never jealous, always admit when I’m wrong, am never paranoid about others’ supposed antagonism etc etc. Heck, I’m probably twice as hypocritical and two-faced as the regular person.
Before reading that article, I had a debate on a very similar subject with a guy. His reply to my “outburst”4 was:
Oh, aren’t you the feminist lil’ one?
Yes, feel free to add the patronizing tone and virtual head patting, to the above quote.
You couldn’t find a lesser feminist than me, if you tried.5.
I have absolutely NO COMPUNCTIONS about lugging my dad with me whenever I need some tech help. Never mind that I am generally better suited to discuss things than him. He’s a man, and there’s a better chance that his “requirements” would be better heard. I suppose some of you are positively horrified by now. Frankly, to me this is all the more convenient. I generally embarrass myself when I’m irritated.
Is not being ashamed of your friends such a foreign concept these days to you too? Am I THAT much of an idealist?!
__________
1 In case there are any, of course.
2 OK, make that DEFINITELY
3 If it does, don’t tell me. I’m a hopeless idealist, OK? 
4 I’d like to think it was a very logical argument I presented, but then again I might have been a bit more than sarcastic.
5 I’ve been told my doormat impressions are excellent.
A clumsy colleague? What does that mean? Do they trip all over themselves or are they a bad influence? That is horrible advice.
Unless the friend does some pretty risque activities that the person has been around and is associated with in public, it could be bad. The question is not very detailed on the exact definition of “clumsy.” However… “clumsy”? Definitely there could be better questions to publish. Someone was hitting the bottle and having a “let’s act like Dear Abby” buzz.
Vera: by clumsy, I understood something like, he/she tended to make a lot of elementary mistakes. Something like, listing the wrong document, accidentally spilling coffe over a folder… things like that. Well the question itself wasn’t particularly explicit about it.
Feminism = believing in equal rights for all people, despite gender, race, age or creed. How is calling out an idiotic answer in Cosmo in regards to being a bad friend remotely feminist? I think this guy needs a slap upside the head. We’ll move onto Cosmo afterwards…
Vera: now I’m all ashamed for reading Cosmo
I’m ashamed of some of friends in social situations and sort of only hang out with them one on one…. and I don’t feel bad about it, haha. It’s just easier for me to overlook their faults if I don’t have to feel like they’re reflecting poorly on me. I know Cosmo is ridiculous for suggesting that it will absolutely reflect poorly on the person, but it does somewhat. Like I’ve had friends say to me about other friends “why are you friends with them?” And I’ll explain it, but usually it comes down to different values and they’ll never get why it’s okay that a friend is rude if she’s loyal, because to them rudeness is more important, etc. And then there’s different opinions on what is rude and what is not.
Oh now I feel like I’m a bad friend… but it’s better to hang out with them one on one than to ditch them all together!
Vera: well I never claimed I wouldn’t be embarrassed by my friends. And sometimes I did feel like slowly but surely inching away. But then I thought about all the time I am irritating/annoying. And they didn’t leave me. So, I don’t do it, because that would be hypocritical.
On a side note, none of my good friends are work colleagues. -.-;
Wow I think that advice is pretty bad too! I certainly wouldn’t take it!
That IS bad advice. Being “ashamed” of your friends is to not truly be a friend to them.
Vera: my thoughts exactly.
Although that thought is supposed to be the ‘ideal’ situation, I doubt it really makes you sound too much of an idealist. I mean, we all have opinions on something or another. Everyone does. Some are idealistic, whereas others are realistic. It’s about striking a balance.
Like you, I wrinkled my nose in disgust when I saw the reply in ‘Dear Ol’Cosmo’. To me, friendship is about embracing the person, flaws and all. I don’t drop a friend just because he/she has an embarrassing/not widely-accepted trait. That is just plain shallow and reflects badly on the person. (Especially when the reason behind WHY the friend was dropped comes to light.)
Although yes, it is true to some extent that the first impressions of your friends also play some part in other people’s overall perception of you, it is still within your power to maintain your image without having to drop the friend. If you’re good enough, you ARE good enough – and you will definitely use your strengths to further enhance your image.
I think I am starting to ramble. :/
Vera: oh no, you’re making perfect sense Brenda. You put things so much better than I did.