Getting Rid of Writer’s Block
Have you ever had to write an essay? Have you ever felt like the entries in your diary (or blog as of late) were written by five year-olds? Did you ever feel you were unable to write a single sentence? You have it. The sad truth is, that you’ve stumbled upon a writer’s block. It is not pleasant, it frustrates you to no end and you can’t seem to find a solution. Here are a few tips to help you get out of it.
First of all look around. There must be SOMETHING you can write about, it can be ANYTHING. Look at your house plant. See? The soil in which it is planted is dry (or if it’s not, you don’t need to read this since you are not experiencing a REAL writer’s block). Before you do anything, go and water the poor being. As much as you’re suffering, don’t take it out on the poor thing. It gives you the much needed oxygen for living. In other words, don’t do like I do, namely take my anger out on others. It’s bad for your health, friendships (current, past, future), reputation and you won’t feel better afterwards (regardless how far the “afterwards” is at that moment). Watered the poor dear? Good! Observe it well. It must be positively choking on that cup full of water… you might just have exaggerated.
Next, write down the exact thought(s) that grace(s) your mind right now… What do you mean I’m not helping? Well what would you have liked me to tell you? *listens patiently while you read your 3-mile-long scroll* Seems to me like you don’t have a writer’s block anymore. The ideas are just brimming in your head. What are you waiting for? Grab one! Done? Good write it down. Now write down every single word you can associate with your idea… Great! Now look at what you have. Isn’t this more than enough for you to start? I suggest you start right away or the inspiration will leave you once again.
Why are you staring at me? You haven’t written down anything? Ah, so after watering the poor plant you still don’t know what to do? OK, I get the point. Let’s get to plan B (yes I am awfully resourceful, you could say that inspiration has decided to hit me full force). Look out your window. What do you mean you don’t have a window?! Where do you live? In a cave? A cave in the middle of a city?! *gets hit by annoyed reader* Right… no caves in the middle of a city. You live in a cave in the middle of nature. Must be one well-equipped cave (after all you DO have a laptop with you). Yet you still crave the city’s abhorring noises, polluting cars (they still do, no matter what you use, lest you have devised one that uses strawberry juice as fuel). You can envision it all around you… Grab it! What do you mean what? The thought of course. Now you have a thought… or more than one. You know what to do right? Write it down, write down words that you connect with said thought, you know the drill…
Environment can’t help you? Ah, so you have to write an essay for school? What’s the title?(…) Good, now go get a dictionary (preferably Webster, or Longman or Cambridge or something similarly thick and accurate – most importantly). Done? OK now look up the meaning of every noun/verb/etc. you have in the sentence… I don’t care if you know their meanings! Look them up, and don’t forget to write the information down. (…) Look at what you wrote… Now look into my eyes (or imagine doing so, should they be “unavailable”) and tell me truthfully that you don’t know what to write about. *grins at reader who turns his/her head away* Told you so. Before you go, don’t forget that an essay for school has to have a beginning, a content and an ending that summarizes everything discussed before. The
conclusion is brief, not two more pages long. And in case you have a word limit, after having written your essay, check the length and delete everything irrelevant.
In conclusion, I simply refuse to believe that you don’t have any idea lurking around in your head. If there is nothing else, you can start ranting about how you expected to get the perfect recipe in step 1, 2, 3, … and I, the evil scheming monster, started making fun of you. Of course this measure should only be applied in the worst cases when there is absolutely no alternative. As much as I am into masochism, I am extremely picky about the person who’s going to drag my good name through mud.
