Lianko.com

Well hello there! No I’m not (yet) dead, just blundering my way through summer. One thing I never thought I’d experience, was enraging tech support. I am not a “stupid user” after all… or so I thought. Of course, I blame it all on a sun stroke.

The gist of it all, was the Internet not working. I didn’t even want to go online, but there was this nagging feeling that kept winding me up. It had to be fixed.

I call tech support, only to spend about 20 minutes getting into Network Neighborhood. The phone cord couldn’t physically reach the computer, so that was one rather strained conversation we had.¹. Apparently everything was in perfect working order. Well… aside the fact that I couldn’t actually log on to the Internet.

The highlight of it all came, when I was asked to remove the Ethernet cable from the router and plug it directly into the computer. I spent a good 5 minutes staring blankly at the two wardrobes I’d have had to shift for said action. Then I remembered that dad had a laptop… … where Firefox kept freezing. On the bright side, the tech support seemed to be an Internet Explorer fan. WAIT: did I actually say bright side?!

Ironically enough, the guy ended up cutting the phone line² at the end. Hm… that might have been intentional, for all I know…

Lesson learned: there’s a reason why getting a human assisted tech support takes around a minute. You’re supposed to keep refreshing your browser till the problem magically solves itself.

Note: This post has been spawned thanks to Jade’s demand of me starting to earn my place in her Opera Speed Dial page. Don’t you DARE remove me!!!!!

___________
¹ The phone cord was not long enough, and carrying a desktop computer to the phone was really not worth the effort.
² The phone is linked to the modem, so if you reset the latter… *makes cut throat move*

… then sarcasm low, kthnxbai.

Despite having a very good memory, I hate to remember things. It’s such a stress: I sometimes fantasize about forgetting my work computer’s password, needing to go at the sys-admin and ask for it to be reset. Oh the humiliation!

This is why I hate signing up for anything. Needless to say: I often end up signing up for stuff anyway. Such as to an online IT shop, to order a birthday present for a work colleague.

Imagine my pleasant surprise, when right below the large red “Buy now” button, there are two phone numbers I could order from. So I call, and even though it was past 8pm someone does pick up and doesn’t tell me they’re closed for the day. I’m starting to have faith again… or am I too hasty?

Vera: Hi! Is this onlineshop?
Sales guy: Yes, good evening. How may I help you?
Vera: I’d like to buy product xyz please. Could you also tell me if it’s possible to get it by Friday? I live in city name.
Sales guy: Oh yes, we should get it by Friday, don’t worry. Have you placed an order online yet?
Vera: Um no… but I thought I could do it by phone too. I don’t much like to sign up for anything.
Sales guy: yeah… I’ll never understand why people want to order stuff online. Maybe when we’ll be a more civilized country things’ll change.
Vera:
Sales guy: well bye, we’ll be expecting your online order.

*CLICK*

I could only stare at the phone. Was I actually mocked because I followed the instructions on their site?! I so wish I had had the courage to smugly point out that I develop sites like the one he so smugly uses, on a daily basis

And the best part: I receive a text message the next day (after placing the order online), that the product was out of stock so my order was canceled. Such professionalism, I think I might just faint from the ecstasy of it all.

Do pseudo tech guys act all high and mighty elsewhere too?

… no, I really don’t. As such, I am going to devote a mile-long entry (liberally peppered with RANDOM capitalizations) to prove my point. Smart, eh?

For some reason, this seems to be the height of coolness, especially among insulted webmasters. Got a review/criticism that you didn’t like? Devote at least one paragraph explaining that you don’t actually care. If that doesn’t teach those lifeless idiots¹, nothing will.

I’m not sure what your reaction is when you don’t care about something: I - for one - either shrug, or give a monosyllabic answer. Not so much our insulted webmasters/webmistresses, who will generally devote at least one mean comment about the criticizer’s presumed shortcomings², if not an entire blog entry.

If we all subscribed to this supposedly healthy approach to the Interwebz, we’d be all pretty apathetic, you know. Just blogging out of obligation, constantly apologizing for lack of updates… oh wait: that’s EXACTLY what you do.

Just think, every time you update your site, be it a new layout, tutorial, blog post, or even profess your love for cute dinosaur patterns³ you do it because you think it will add to your blog’s likability. Unless of course you get some sort of kick from making your site uglier and uglier. So, I’m afraid you’ll have to accept the harsh truth:

YOU. LIKE. YOUR. SITE.

I know, I know: it’s terrible. How will you ever survive such a shameful admission… provided you DO actually admit to it, of course? There’s of course the “sensible” thing: immediately distance yourself from the computer (YES, RIGHT NOW!). Or… you could just embrace this trait of your personality and fix your site. Dilemmas, dilemmas, dilemmas…

Now if you’ll excuse I’m off to change layout, because my extreme uncaring attitude towards Perfection Design Gallery has been bugging me… for the last half of a year. Like I said: totally not caring about it.

What don’t YOU care about?

___________
¹ because obviously whenever you vocalize your dislike of a website you’re in dire need of outside activity.
² i.e. big fat lazy bitch.
³ HIIIII Rachael!!!!